Recently I wrote this: “I’m sorry if this sounds cruel, but if you were born in nineteen-fifty-ANYTHING, you are too old for me. That’s just the way it is.” I only know this because…Continue Reading
Month: April 2012
Once upon a time, in the bygone days of yore, when neanderthals roamed the earth, technology was sparse; primitive communication devices were used and it could take days or weeks to reach someone. Mail…Continue Reading
Posted on April 28, 2012 by Bri 8.80038 e8 . . . That’s how many seconds I’ve been alive. I don’t even know how to *say* that! Mid life crisis? Totally. I’ve almost made it…Continue Reading
A Victorian magazine advised late nineteenth century women: “Marry for a home! Marry to escape the ridicule of being called an old maid? How dare you pervert the most sacred institution of the Almighty!?…Continue Reading
I’ve been talking to a lot of the boys lately and oh my goodness! What *babies* they have become! Sissies! Pansies! It’s bad, so bad! They’re complaining (if you can believe it) that women…Continue Reading
Does anyone ever ask you why you’re not married? Incessantly? Like, every single day? It used to be just, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”, but now as I rapidly approach middle age? I am…Continue Reading
As of May 7th, I will have been alive 14,716,800 minutes. I know this because I’ll have been alive 10,220 days and there’s 1440 minutes in each day. Voila! 14,716,800 minutes! I only know…Continue Reading
My stupid “Master Whatever-His-Mom- Calls-Him” story? I thought it was starting out fantastically. I anonymized everyone expertly- from “St. Septemberstine” to “Bermuda Shortie’s” to “LilyPad the Great Sheepdog”, I thought I did wonderfully well!…Continue Reading
I have not had a date since November. Why?, you ask? Partially because I’ve lost all faith in the male population and because I believe that the male brain (or lack there of) is…Continue Reading