Monthly Archives: April 2012

NOW ABOUT *YOUR* MID LIFE CRISIS . . .

The first point most older men make when they’re “proving” they can “keep up with” me is that they can drink me under the table. Dude. My GRANDMA can drink me under the table. Continue reading

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DATING EVOLUTION?

Personality tests, compatibility tests, people have checklists! CHECKLISTS! It’s all so sick! I’m a *person*, not a science project! Men ask for my phone number before they ask my *name*! Continue reading

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I Didn’t Write This . . .

The plane takes off
& I laugh aloud . . . Continue reading

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*MORE MID LIFE CRISIS!*

“This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered to the seventh sun of the seventh sun.” Continue reading

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Suicides and Spinsters?

A Victorian magazine advised late nineteenth century women: “Marry for a home! Marry to escape the ridicule of being called an old maid? How dare you pervert the most sacred institution of the Almighty!? By becoming the wife of a … Continue reading

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$LISTEN UP, LAZY BOYS!$ (though I don’t know why I bother!)

I’ve been talking to a lot of the boys lately and oh my goodness! What *babies* they have become! Sissies! Pansies! It’s bad, so bad! They’re complaining (if you can believe it) that women take their numbers and never call! … Continue reading

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*WHAT DO ‘YA DO WITH A DRUNKEN SPINSTER?*

“If a nice guy wants to take a girl out, treat her right, maybe find someone to start a life with, he doesn’t look twice at me.

“Nope. He calls me when he loses his effing mind.”
Continue reading

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HAPPY MID LIFE CRISIS TO YOU!

I remembered my approaching TWENTY EIGHTH BIRTHDAY and the inevitable MID LIFE CRISIS that I know will follow and I decided to figure out *exactly* how old I was.
Continue reading

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*RANDOM BLOGGING*: Dating Through the Holidays!

“He wanted to know I was a “giver” before he wasted money on dinner . . . ” Continue reading

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Master Danger WHAT!?!

All the shit I went through writing this? And no one’s even *reading” it? For shame, all you wretched brats! Continue reading

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