Gentlemen, I have wonderful news! There are thousands of sassy, horny c**-guzzling sluts out there! All kinds! Cougars! MILFs! Naughty secretaries! Raunchy lunch ladies! Barely legal! Not legal at all! Big tits! Big mouths!…Continue Reading
Month: May 2012
Dearest Heart! Darling Cherub! Star of Stars! My Equatorial Sun! You have betrayed me. I dare not ask *why* you’ve failed me, oh sweet dark angel! For years I have loved you completely with…Continue Reading
For my birthday, I went out with some girls from work. A birthday only comes once a year, so I started with some strawberry daquiris. Then some wine at a neighbor’s house, then some…Continue Reading
Hello, soldiers! Greetings! A wondrous thing has happened! With the dawning of the twenty first century, the dating scene has been revolutionized! Revamped! America is now online and we are stoked- everything is so…Continue Reading
The other day, I saw a dead squirrel in the middle of the road. It had been run over by a car or two and it was flattened and covered in fresh blood, a…Continue Reading
One score and seven years ago, my father brought forth upon my mother a new baby! Conceived by accident in the back of a Camaro and born into a nation dedicated the proposition that all…Continue Reading
Last summer, during my period of *actual dating*, I hadn’t been looking for the love of my life or anything! I’d known better than to expect fireworks or shooting stars, I was simply trying…Continue Reading
Suddenly, last summer, I was dangerously close to losing my mind- I was actually considering a lobotomy to cloud my memory, help me forget my painful dating stories; I was sick of Hershey Squirts…Continue Reading