Hey, man. Long time, no see. I’ve been too busy to write anything but stressed out, whiny Facebook updates lately and I’m utterly insane from watching *American Psycho* forty seven times because it’s the only movie I haven’t packed yet . . . but enough rambling.
I found an interesting and creative message from some douche bag and I’m going to post it here to buy myself some time. My dating *about me* section directly states: “I like guys who have enough guts to go after what they really want in life, so if you live in your car and you work at a Taco Cabana, please don’t waste my time.”
This is pretty funny because I have never been to a Taco Cabana, nor had I heard of the place before I was writing my profile and looking for an interesting sounding fast food place to refer to- it was a toss up between this and In ‘N Out Burger. Thanks to the stupid messages I’ve received from various losers, I now know everything there is to know about Taco Cabana- I know the menu, I’ve seen commercials! I’ve read fond childhood memories of the Cabana, but this is the best I’ve seen:
“What if living in my car and working at Taco Cabana is my life long dream? Ever since I was just a wee lad I sat in my parents mansion dreaming of the day that when I grew up I could live in an old Cadillac and work at a taco joint. But not just any taco joint, I dreamed of Taco Cabana!
“After I graduated Harvard my parents granted me access to my trust fund and I bought that old Cadillac right from page 5 of the auto trader. I hopped in my Caddy and drove to the beach and parked it under an old bridge by a run off canal and this is the place I now call home. I then set off to find a Taco Cabana to start my new career.
“Once I found it, being that I am of Harvard stature, they were more than willing to hire me on as the night time dishwasher. My dreams were almost fulfilled, I just had to work my way up to my ultimate dream job of taco filler. After years of hard work, blood, sweat, tears and pure determination I made my way up to taco filler! I now make a whole dollarmore than minimum wage which is more than enough to support me and my dog Twinkie!
“Now all there is left in my life is to find that special someone to share my incredibly roomy Caddy with Twinkie and I. I’m already the luckiest man in the world but a special lady could make it phenomenal.”
Snaps to the writer, who has slipped through the cracks of Plentyoffish and will never be credited accordingly or heard from again. *I* certainly ain’t tracking him down, that’s for sure!
Hasta la vista, baby!
(*SIDE NOTE*- I’ll be back quicker if you help me freaking MOVE! I’m freaking out here, man! Thanks.)