Does anyone ever ask you why you’re not married? Incessantly? Like, every single day? It used to be just, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”, but now as I rapidly approach middle age? I am…Continue Reading
Apr 232012
Category: Dating/ Bad Dates
Apr 192012
As of May 7th, I will have been alive 14,716,800 minutes. I know this because I’ll have been alive 10,220 days and there’s 1440 minutes in each day. Voila! 14,716,800 minutes! I only know…Continue Reading
Apr 102012
My stupid “Master Whatever-His-Mom- Calls-Him” story? I thought it was starting out fantastically. I anonymized everyone expertly- from “St. Septemberstine” to “Bermuda Shortie’s” to “LilyPad the Great Sheepdog”, I thought I did wonderfully well!…Continue Reading
Apr 042012
I have not had a date since November. Why?, you ask? Partially because I’ve lost all faith in the male population and because I believe that the male brain (or lack there of) is…Continue Reading
Mar 272012
Originally this was just going to be a fun little essay making fun of the way you losers hit on girls, but last night something happened that really made me think. I was on…Continue Reading
Mar 252012
When I was about 19, a read a book called “What Men Want”- three young professional men had written it for their female friends, simply to clue them into what the “modern professional man”…Continue Reading
Mar 202012
My doom was delivered to me via a ghastly social networking tool: the rotten, meddling Facebook IM! Suddenly the Master of Danger could locate me at all times; he knew when I was home,…Continue Reading
Mar 182012
You never know who your true friends are until you need help moving. That’s a fact. For awhile it seemed there were a ton of boys willing to help me move, but I figured it…Continue Reading
Mar 102012
Hey, man. Long time, no see. I’ve been too busy to write anything but stressed out, whiny Facebook updates lately and I’m utterly insane from watching *American Psycho* forty seven times because it’s the only…Continue Reading
Jan 282012
I woke up the following morning in puzzled daze, with a pounding headache, a dry mouth and a mysterious, thunderous feeling of discomfort one can only describe as a hangover. The beer from the…Continue Reading