Jul 222019

SCOTT SLOAN: A Cautionary Tale

Scott Sloan. The very name gives me shivers, I can’t stand the sound of it. So who is it? you  wonder. Is this Scott Sloan a serial killer, a Russian Dictator? A catty and fearsome…Continue Reading

Dec 192015


In my own personal transition into adulthood, I have seen many trends and fads in America that I have struggled to understand: Cargo pants! Sagging pants! Chain wallets! TOMMY jackets! TOMMY everything! Menudo! The Spice…Continue Reading

Apr 202014

My Legs, Your Business: YOUR AD HERE!!!

Picture it! YOUR business logo on a tanned and toned, perfectly visible and miles long billboard!: right smack down the sides of my dynamite legs!

IMAGINE! That’s YOUR business quite literally biking all over St. Augustine!

Dec 042013

Fifty Shades of WHATEVER!

I gave in, I finally read it. I realize I am a book snob and I’ve proudly read neither a Harry Potter, nor a Twilight book, but the FASTEST selling paperback of all time? 90…Continue Reading

Jul 192012

The Greatest Man I Ever Knew

He sat in his chair day in and day out, he had his wife trained to bring him his meals in that chair without fail. His wife would set up the coffee pot every night…Continue Reading

May 312012

The Porn World Versus the REAL WORLD!

  Gentlemen, I have wonderful news! There are thousands of sassy, horny c**-guzzling sluts out there! All kinds! Cougars! MILFs! Naughty secretaries! Raunchy lunch ladies! Barely legal! Not legal at all! Big tits! Big mouths!…Continue Reading

May 312012


  Dearest Heart! Darling Cherub! Star of Stars! My Equatorial Sun! You have betrayed me. I dare not ask *why* you’ve failed me, oh sweet dark angel! For years I have loved you completely with…Continue Reading