THIS IS THE LETTER I RECEIVED FROM MY RAPIST’S CURRENT “GIRLFRIEND!” THIS IS THE STORY HE HAS BEEN TELLING ABOUT *ME* FOR A DECADE, TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN . . . AND I MEAN…Continue Reading
My Darling Barry Manilow~ I love you! You may not believe this, but I have been a closet Fanilow since early high school! Even in the face of the late nineties and the Can’t…Continue Reading
In my own personal transition into adulthood, I have seen many trends and fads in America that I have struggled to understand: Cargo pants! Sagging pants! Chain wallets! TOMMY jackets! TOMMY everything! Menudo! The Spice…Continue Reading
Dear Miss Mugshot~ GlRL! You caved! I never dreamed he’d get you to the altar, I thought you had backed out by the time I started this project. Dammit. You were the only other woman…Continue Reading
The Little Red-Haired Girl. Sounds familiar, right? At first glance, you may not even realize where exactly you know those words from, but give it a second. You’ll get it. Oh. Charlie Brown’s Little…Continue Reading
Picture it! YOUR business logo on a tanned and toned, perfectly visible and miles long billboard!: right smack down the sides of my dynamite legs!
IMAGINE! That’s YOUR business quite literally biking all over St. Augustine!
I gave in, I finally read it. I realize I am a book snob and I’ve proudly read neither a Harry Potter, nor a Twilight book, but the FASTEST selling paperback of all time? 90…Continue Reading
Rejection. What a word. Rejection has been mentioned to me a lot lately and if there’s one thing a man fears more than being rejected, it’s being the one doing the rejecting. Telling a woman…Continue Reading
Gentlemen, I have wonderful news! There are thousands of sassy, horny c**-guzzling sluts out there! All kinds! Cougars! MILFs! Naughty secretaries! Raunchy lunch ladies! Barely legal! Not legal at all! Big tits! Big mouths!…Continue Reading
The other day, I saw a dead squirrel in the middle of the road. It had been run over by a car or two and it was flattened and covered in fresh blood, a…Continue Reading