Apr 302012

OW ABOUT *YOUR* MID LIFE CRISIS!

  Recently I wrote this: “I’m sorry if this sounds cruel, but if you were born in nineteen-fifty-ANYTHING, you are too old for me. That’s just the way it is.” I only know this because…Continue Reading

Apr 102012

Master Danger WHAT!?!

  My stupid “Master Whatever-His-Mom- Calls-Him” story? I thought it was starting out fantastically. I anonymized everyone expertly- from “St. Septemberstine” to “Bermuda Shortie’s” to “LilyPad the Great Sheepdog”, I thought I did wonderfully well!…Continue Reading

Mar 252012

EVER WONDER HOW TO HIT ON GIRLS?

  When I was about 19, a read a book called “What Men Want”- three young professional men had written it for their female friends, simply to clue them into what the “modern professional man”…Continue Reading

Feb 172012

EAT MY SHORTS, SHAKESPEARE!

    I recently read Romeo and Juliet, I’d never actually read it before. A great tragedy, a world famous love story, an enduring tale of star crossed young adults? Sure. But come on; I…Continue Reading

Dec 022011

Dear Santa Baby!

Dear Santa! Hello there, you jolly old thing! Been awhile since I’ve written, I know, I know, but I have kind of a Christmas emergency: I have two million seconds to find a boyfriend before Christmas…Continue Reading

Sep 272011

Why Are Men Such Pansies?

Men. I miss men. REAL MEN, not the sissy boy, metro sexual pansies that are being produced today! They knew how to fix things, they’d drop everything to help you open a jar. They didn’t…Continue Reading