Tag Archives: writing

HAPPY TO BE IN AMERICA! DON’T ASK FOR GREEN CARD!

Hello there. I am officially nixing whatever kind of half baked strike I ever went on because it’s just not healthy for me~ I have been sleep writing/ emailing to compensate. Oh, geez. I’ve been waking up to crazy, crazy … Continue reading

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TO MANDY! IN BIG GIRL JAIL!

MANDY WILLIAMSON, I AM WARNING YOU! If Richard Ramirez really IS Satan and he escapes from jail/ astral projects into my bedroom/ puts a curse on me or any of the above, let it be on *your* head! Continue reading

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THE ART OF SNUBBING!

Snubbed. First degree. In my own driveway.
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Dear Santa Baby . . .

Please send me the man who can help make this happen, oh Mr. Kringle! The fate of the human race hangs in the balance, thinking GLOBAL is not enough!

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Boys, Look at What You’ve Done to Me!

You ruined a writer all because you just had to talk about your stupid ex or you didn’t feel like paying for dinner or because you showed up to a date with a goddamn tracking device! Continue reading

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YOUR NAME IS TUCKER MAX: AND YOU ARE MY HERO!

As if the book deals and royalties and movie crap weren’t enough, the man is getting laid EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for the rest of his life. That’s genius. Continue reading

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Haunt Me, Hemingway!

What if every writer, every poet only gets a set number of words to jot down and I’ve used all mine up? Continue reading

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