Here’s a tip for you! From a real cowboy!:

-”You ever been in love, Curly?”

-”Once. I was driving this herd across the panhandle- Texas. And passed near this little dirt farm round about sundown. Out in the field was this young woman working down in the dirt. Just about then, she stood up to stretch her back. She was wearing a little cotton dress and the setting sun was right behind her, showing the shape that God had give her.”

-”What happened?”

-”I just turned around and rode away. I figured it wasn’t going to get any better than that.”

-”Yeah, but you coulda been with her!”

-”I been with lots of women.”

-”Yeah, but she coulda been the love of your life!”

– “She is.”

* * *

That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. Now I ain’t no city slicker, but I got me a cowboy hat! All I need to do is go stand in a field in the sun and the love of my freaking life is going to show up and never say a goddamn word to me?

He’s going to let me slip through his fingers and go on to god knows what, but thirty years from now, he’ll be telling his grandchildren about the “love of his life”? Who never had to endure a bad date or find out he was emailing his ex or call him “Master Danger” or anything like that?

I’ll take it.

So we need to find me a cowboy. What are we up to now? A time traveling cowboy with 20/20 vision, no tattoos, homeless hair and a British accent! Some wild and roving buckaroo, a studly broncobuster who is over the age of 35 and doesn’t drive a Mini Cooper! Beautiful! Just beautiful.

I’m sure the universe will send him right along.