Mar 272012


Originally this was just going to be a fun little essay making fun of the way you losers hit on girls, but last night something happened that really made me think. I was on my way home from the gym, when I heard my phone ring. I stopped under a street light to dig in my purse when all of a sudden, I heard someone yell, “Holy shit! Ahhhh!”

Next I knew my bike shook and my purse flew as another bike plowed into me, but I didn’t move- I watched as a nerdy blonde dude in glasses and a plaid geek shirt scooted past me, flailing his arms and screaming. It all happened in slow motion as he lost control: his bike flew into the air and he hit the ground hard as his glasses flew off, before rolling around a bit, then somersaulting into a ditch.

He stood up, brushed himself off and started fumbling for his glasses, which had landed at my feet. I stood there stunned for a second before picking up his glasses, handing them to him, and asking if he was okay. He snatched them from me without making eye contact, turned and hopped onto his bike, pedaling off into the darkness. No apology, no concern, no acknowledgment of my existence in the least.

As I watched his geeky plaid disappear from view, I became enraged- that was so freaking rude. Abominable.

After I’d calmed down, I went to Target to buy a light for my bike and hopefully avoid such instances in the future. That is how I found out where our nerdy blonde boy had been going.

He was flushed and out of breath as I stood behind him. He did not see me and would not have noticed me if he had, but that’s when I realized I was still mad- I had to leave the line at once because I knew I was going to flip out and start screaming at Evil Kenevil, start lecturing him on his blatant disregard for me and my bicycle, his utter lack of respect for human life! Right there. In the queue. At Target.

I had to get out of there.

And that’s when it hit me- that was just like being hit on.

Now ladies and gentlemen, I can see you asking yourselves where the connection is, but it’s so obvious: that boy was rude, disrespectful, showed absolutely no regard for the fact that I was an actual *person*, who he was inconveniencing; a person who had done nothing to deserve such a great discourtesy!

Horrible. Unspeakably offensive. And please take all of that into consideration before you annoy a chick by hitting on her!

I am a lady. Please treat me like one.

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