Tag Archives: dateless

This One’s For YOU, Mrs. Robinson!

Looky here! The young, corruptible son of the old battle ax’s law partner is back from school! A young Dustin Hoffman? Oh, who could resist? Those eyes! Those dimples! That scuba suit! That sexy, shaggy nineteen sixties haircut!
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HOW I SCRAPED MY KNEE! NINJA STYLE!

Any girl in little black shorts at night will get a lot of unwanted attention- it’s always from the dirtiest, most low class losers too! You can’t even take it as a *compliment* really because they don’t care what the rest of you looks like, all they see is a chick in shorts! Continue reading

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HOW DID I SCRAPE THAT KNEE AGAIN?

I have been sort of hibernating lately, mostly to care for my sick collie, but it’s a little bit of not wanting to deal with men . . . or boys . . . or losers, or scumbags or morons or plain old inappropriate jerks.

[insert whatever synonym for "man" you like, it's all the same to me]
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The Future of Romance: DEATH BY INTERNET!

*A NOTE TO THE BOYS*- You are not special. I don’t care how “handsome” your mommy told you you were, nor do I care how much money you inherited from daddy. Nor do I care if you’re Johnny Depp and a million groupie whores want you to poop in their mouths! To ME you are nothing.

Until you prove otherwise.
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BILL CHURCH AND HIS DONKEY HUMILIATION KIT!: A Love Story!

I forget how he discovered her sex den, but it was a room full of ancient torture devices and a donkey humiliation kit in the walk in closet of her baby’s nursery- some women like lacey lingerie, others prefer a black latex catsuit and a donkey mask Continue reading

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Womanizers Anonymous!

! Gene Simmons was quoted as saying: “I will tell a girl I want her and desire her, but I’ll tell her straight, ‘I want your sister and your mommy as well’.”

Though he’s nuts if he thinks he needs to tell ME!
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Where Have All the Time Travelling Cowboys Gone?

There’s still no army of rich, good looking internet billionaires fighting for my hand! I mean, sure I’ve been proposed to a handful of times, but you don’t go to Harvard Law, study your ass off, then accept a job at McDonald’s! Continue reading

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*RANDOM BLOGGING*: Dating Through the Holidays!

“He wanted to know I was a “giver” before he wasted money on dinner . . . ” Continue reading

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Brianne Dissects He’s Just Not that Into You, Part 1 (a literary discussion!)

Every guy I was “so hung up on” and “so afraid of losing”? Yeah. Them. I have in fact forgotten about all of them.

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DINNER WITH SHMUCKS (AND EDGAR ALLEN POE!)

I agreed to dinner! For laughs! For thrills! For the unknown! But by the time we got our appetizers, I’d sure enough started to wish I’d just climbed out a freaking window.
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