Apr 302012

OW ABOUT *YOUR* MID LIFE CRISIS!

  Recently I wrote this: “I’m sorry if this sounds cruel, but if you were born in nineteen-fifty-ANYTHING, you are too old for me. That’s just the way it is.” I only know this because…Continue Reading

Apr 102012

Master Danger WHAT!?!

  My stupid “Master Whatever-His-Mom- Calls-Him” story? I thought it was starting out fantastically. I anonymized everyone expertly- from “St. Septemberstine” to “Bermuda Shortie’s” to “LilyPad the Great Sheepdog”, I thought I did wonderfully well!…Continue Reading

Apr 042012

DATING AND MOVING

  I have not had a date since November. Why?, you ask? Partially because I’ve lost all faith in the male population and because I believe that the male brain (or lack there of) is…Continue Reading

Mar 252012

EVER WONDER HOW TO HIT ON GIRLS?

  When I was about 19, a read a book called “What Men Want”- three young professional men had written it for their female friends, simply to clue them into what the “modern professional man”…Continue Reading

Mar 102012

A WORD FROM CABANA BOY . . .

Hey, man. Long time, no see. I’ve been too busy to write anything but stressed out, whiny Facebook updates lately and I’m utterly insane from watching *American Psycho* forty seven times because it’s the only…Continue Reading