Does anyone ever ask you why you’re not married? Incessantly? Like, every single day? It used to be just, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”, but now as I rapidly approach middle age? I am…Continue Reading
Category: Dating/ Bad Dates
As of May 7th, I will have been alive 14,716,800 minutes. I know this because I’ll have been alive 10,220 days and there’s 1440 minutes in each day. Voila! 14,716,800 minutes! I only know…Continue Reading
My stupid “Master Whatever-His-Mom- Calls-Him” story? I thought it was starting out fantastically. I anonymized everyone expertly- from “St. Septemberstine” to “Bermuda Shortie’s” to “LilyPad the Great Sheepdog”, I thought I did wonderfully well!…Continue Reading
I have not had a date since November. Why?, you ask? Partially because I’ve lost all faith in the male population and because I believe that the male brain (or lack there of) is…Continue Reading
Originally this was just going to be a fun little essay making fun of the way you losers hit on girls, but last night something happened that really made me think. I was on…Continue Reading
When I was about 19, a read a book called “What Men Want”- three young professional men had written it for their female friends, simply to clue them into what the “modern professional man”…Continue Reading
My doom was delivered to me via a ghastly social networking tool: the rotten, meddling Facebook IM! Suddenly the Master of Danger could locate me at all times; he knew when I was home,…Continue Reading
You never know who your true friends are until you need help moving. That’s a fact. For awhile it seemed there were a ton of boys willing to help me move, but I figured it…Continue Reading
Hey, man. Long time, no see. I’ve been too busy to write anything but stressed out, whiny Facebook updates lately and I’m utterly insane from watching *American Psycho* forty seven times because it’s the only…Continue Reading
I woke up the following morning in puzzled daze, with a pounding headache, a dry mouth and a mysterious, thunderous feeling of discomfort one can only describe as a hangover. The beer from the…Continue Reading