Tag Archives: dating

MOTHER BRI RETIRES HER BLOG!

Posted on April 19, 2013 by Bri

I write about bad dates, I get *more* bad dates. I started writing serial killers instead because I’d rather write and phone and get to be LIFELONG PALS with serial killer RICHARD RAMIREZ . . . than go on another date. With you. Continue reading →

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Womanizers Anonymous!

Posted on April 3, 2013 by Bri

! Gene Simmons was quoted as saying: “I will tell a girl I want her and desire her, but I’ll tell her straight, ‘I want your sister and your mommy as well’.”

Though he’s nuts if he thinks he needs to tell ME!
Continue reading →

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IF YOU DON’T GET SUCKED UP INTO SPACE . . . (part one!)

Posted on March 17, 2013 by Bri

“Yes, but do you know how much can happen in a week? I could have gotten married! I could have gotten sucked up into space!”

“You could not have gotten sucked up into space,” she told me.

“Yes I could!” I cried. “I totally could just be walking down the street one day, doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo when BAM! A UFO! INCOMING! Beams me up!” Continue reading →

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PAGING HUGH HEFNER!: How Do We Get this Letter to Him?

Posted on February 22, 2013 by Bri

You’ll be pleased to know I do not want to be a Playmate. I will admit I did write you once asking you to put me in your magazine because I thought it might help me exact revenge on an ex . . . Continue reading →

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Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut; Sometimes You Wish You Didn’t!

Posted on February 1, 2013 by Bri

Sometimes when hunters want to catch monkeys . . . Continue reading →

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Gentlemen May Prefer Blondes . . . But Blondes Prefer Gentlemen!

Posted on December 30, 2012 by Bri

I know I’m cursed and I don’t mind playing the damsel in distress every now and then, but COME ONNNNN! I have been going on bad dates religiously since I was 22 and in all that time, I have never seen anything like this. Continue reading →

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FOR LOVE OR MONEY?: Is this a Real Question?

Posted on December 17, 2012 by Bri

$46,513,000,000,000.

[PSSSSST! I don't know about you, but *I* think I could live on that!] Continue reading →

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DATING MOTIVATION, 101- What if I’m Not Hungry?

Posted on December 12, 2012 by Bri

This project is deranged. But I will agree to a date with you if you take me to the Melting Pot! Continue reading →

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Date 2 of 100- (kind of a slow start, I know)

Posted on November 28, 2012 by Bri

Date two of a hundred was supposed to be last night, but the prick stood me up at the last minute. Continue reading →

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*A DATING HAULOCAUST*: Stop Dating Like Nazis!

Posted on May 29, 2012 by Bri

Hello, soldiers! Greetings! A wondrous thing has happened! With the dawning of the twenty first century, the dating scene has been revolutionized! Revamped! America is now online and we are stoked- everything is so easy! Even dating! Suddenly there are … Continue reading →

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