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Buongiorno, Fabio!: I Can’t Believe You Won’t Give Me A MILLION DOLLARS!

Oh, please, Fabio! Hear me out! Aren’t you known for saving women in peril? For whisking them from the tops of towers, for swinging them across gullies and caverns and babbling brooks? In a loin cloth? On a Tarzan vine? For steering them lovingly to the safety of ship sterns and wagon wheels and unicorns?
Rescuing them from death and defilement and debt collectors!

Yes, Fabio, it’s true! I desire your million, not your manroot.

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